Seriously considering prostitution so that I can buy this goddamn plane ticket. It’s going to cost me more than an entire paycheck. Sweet.
I’m at work and I just ate a sandwich and something got stuck in my teeth and i don’t have floss so i just used a piece of my own hair that is still attached to my head
I’m getting purple in my hair tomorrow I got the okay from my boss hollaaaaaa
Calm your tits man, there aren’t any cooties that travelled from the gym to my bag to your bed its a DUCKING DUFFEL BAG NOT A COOTIE COLLECTOER
Tbh I have the best boobs ever
Also my brother found out today that he is going to serve a 2 yr lds mission in Sydney Australia!
Cosmo Tip 5437:
Secretly use super glue instead of lube so you can be together forever